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· Out of my mind. Back in five minutes

·  Unite against togetherness!

· Reality Sucks! I?m Gonna Keep On Dreamin

· If your name was homework, I'd be doing you on my desk right now...

· No fear! (NAME) is here!

·  I Don?t Like The Drugs, But The Drugs Like Me

· Life's a bitch. Be its pimp

· I'm better than normal, I'm abnormal!

· A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts

· Save a tree, eat a beaver

· By the time you read this, you've already read it

· Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

· Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it a hundred times

· I don't curse, drink and smoke. H*ly shit! My cigarette fell in my glass of beer!

· Dont steal, the government hates competition

· If you hate me, i love you too. It ain't my fault i'm better than you

· Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

· Save a horse, ride a Cowboy!

· The higher you are, the farther you fall

· Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end

·  You're unique, just like everyone else....

· Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!

· Why do our noses run and our feet smell?

· Save a mouse, eat a pussy

· Keep Earth clean, it's not Ur-anus

· Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow

· Make love not war. Condoms are cheaper than guns

· Don't do it behind the garden gate love is blind but the neighbours ain't!

· When you judge others you dont define them you define yourself.. :-)

· The more I learn, the more I forget. So why would I learn?

· You're looking at perfection, and it ain't you!

· Do blind eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

· If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

· Never wish on 1 star more than 1nce cause your luck ALWAYS runs out!

· I know that you know that I know that you think I'm the best, that's why you never tell me

· We both know I'm the best, that's why you never tell me

· Women/Men are proof that women/men can take a joke

· As long as my boss pretends that I'm earning much, I'm pretending that I work hard

· Next time wave all your fingers at me!

· When it comes to baldness, it's not about losing more hair, it's about getting more head

·  What is a friend? 1 soul in 2 bodies

· There are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet

· If you tell someone you like people, they can't resist liking you back

· He/She who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, who has one enemy will meet him everywhere

· Misfortune shows those who are not really friends

· Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his

· True friendship is a plant of slow growth

· A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute

· Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods

· A friend who turns into a enemy has never been a friend

· A faithful friend is the medicine of life

· Friendship needs no words....

· The best personal mirror is the opinion of a friend

· Nobody like me, so I always have 1 friend

· Two are better than one

· A true friend tells you your faults in private

· A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else

· True friendship never ends

· Most people walk in and out of you life. But only friends leave footprints in your heart

· As long as forever, I will stay by your side; I,ll be your companion, your friend and your guide